This is an absolutely infuriating story. Not only were these poor children subject to highly graphic material that had nothing to do with health, but…their parents weren’t even informed that this was going to take place beforehand.
Mandy Callihan is an elementary school teacher in Jay, Oklahoma, but, as she said in an outraged Facebook post that has been shared over 1,500 times, she is a mother first.
So, when her 12-year-old called her in tears to tell her she couldn’t stomach the graphic nature of her sex ed class, she was incredibly shocked to discover what was going on there.
Here is what she said in her post, which came with an “X-rated warning’:
I’ve debated for three days about putting this on FB, but finally decided too for one reason: we still haven’t gotten an acceptable answer.
I’m so sick to my stomach over this, and I’m worried that there are a lot of parents that have no idea that this has been taking place in Jay Middle School this week (7th and 8th Grade). If you were aware of the classes, and the material being taught, and you are okay with it—then good for you (that is completely your decision, and I respect that). Jake and I did not know. Before I start, please let me get something straight: I’m taking my teacher hat off for this post (even though it infuriates the teacher in me also). I am after all, a mother first. So the following is a Momma speaking, and a very mad one at that……
Like I said, Jake and I didn’t know. At least not until Wednesday, when our TWELVE year old daughter called (in tears) asking to be checked out. She had just spent her third day in this class, where boys and girls are combined, and male and female instructors take turns “teaching” our kids about sex education. Obviously sex education has taken a huge turn since I was in school. My daughter handed me a workbook, a workbook that she was supposed to be bringing home each night so that parents can continue the conversation about what was discussed in class. She hadn’t done that….and in her shaky little voice, said “she was too embarrassed.” She begged me not to make her go back to this class. After opening the workbook, I understood why. I was appalled at what someone in our school system had deemed appropriate to talk to my child about. My TWELVE-year-old child (who still colors in coloring books). In a room where boys and girls are combined. With male instructors (or female, depending on the time of day, I guess) who are not teachers (or Nurses) in our school system.
Her father and I were (and still are) LIVID.
Yes, Jake and I contacted the school immediately (the teacher, the principal, the counselor, and the school nurse) We were told that “pamphlets” were sent home a week ago letting parents know that they were going to be discussing sex education. We never saw a pamphlet….so we didn’t have the opportunity to get her out of the class before it started. Signatures for permission were NOT required, but you could opt out (depending on who you talk too, because we got different answers on the permission part).
This “pamphlet” they keep talking about tells me a couple of things…..mainly that we have educators, and administrators, in our school system that need to be educated on how to properly let parents know about such a touchy and personal subject: 1. You simply do NOT trust a child to handle such an important subject on their own (ever), and then simply take the child’s word for it. 2. We have an amazing thing in our school: it’s called an ALL CALL, where parents all receive a call to watch for important information (it’s really awesome, and it’s usable for EVERYthing 👍🏻). Lastly, after visiting with some parents who did see the pamphlets, we learned that those pamphlets did not do justice to what was fixing to be talked about in the class. They most certainly did NOT say, “hey moms and dads we’re gonna be teaching your very young sons and daughters about masturbating by themselves (and mutual masturbation with partners), spend some time talking about oral sex, and anal sex……not to mention, we’re going to tell the boys “that when they are going down on a girl, and it looks like cauliflower, you need to just get up out of there.” YES, that was actually a comment used during class (by a male instructor). 😡 That is NOT sex Ed. That is degrading to the little girls sitting in the class, and it’s teaching the boys sitting in the class that it’s okay to talk that way. Not acceptable, my friends…..absolutely not acceptable for twelve-year-old ears. Honestly, it’s not acceptable talk EVER.
The teacher said it was board approved. The school counselor said it was board approved. The school nurse said it was board approved. The Principal said, “HE approved it and there was nothing wrong with it.”
Well, Mr. Principal, sorry but that’s not your decision to make about my child….feel free to make it about your own, but I’ll be darned if I’m going to sit by quietly after you made the decision about what was appropriate sexual language to use around my child. What you approved, allowed someone to assault my child’s little mind, and her innocence.
The three board members we talked to took the time to listen to us (which we greatly appreciated), seemed genuinely appalled over the material and language that was being used, and also told us that this was not board approved. They promised to look into the situation, and I believe that they did (or will).
The Superintendent still hasn’t returned our calls (after three days). The Principal also won’t return our calls to let us know if this situation has been addressed. We were told by a board member that the Superintendent was told to “address the situation,” or they would. We don’t know if it has been addressed, or what the decision was, because no one thinks it’s important to call us back.
Even if the class has been stopped (as we’ve heard through the rumor mill), you can’t undo what was already done to these kids. Also, a return call (with an apology) to every upset parent seems pretty appropriate in this situation….that’s just basic common sense.
I realize not all children this age are innocent. I realize the statistics in our county, and our schools, concerning teen pregnancy. It’s sad, it truly is. But this?!? This was not the way to go about fixing that problem. THIS was an assault of MY child’s innocence and mind. It is just not okay.
And all we are hearing are crickets.
Crickets piss me off.
This is absolutely outrageous–and we need to keep sharing her story until she and the other terribly concerned parents in Jay get an answer!! Help us spread the word–and make sure this isn’t happening in your children’s school!