Every day we hear more about the gender insanity that is plaguing our nation and the sick agenda of the left to deny the way God created us.
Marianne, a Christian living in Malaysia, knows all too well that no matter what you try to do to your external body, that “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created he Him; male and female created He them.” (Genesis 1:27)
However, Marianne hadn’t didn’t lived her whole life the way God created her.
“Yes, I was a male once by mistake that I made by my own self,” she writes, in a powerful testimony, she published on her personal blog. “Now let me tell you of a wonderful thing or a miracle that happened to my life that changed my whole self back to my original gender a FEMALE.”
Like many of those who get caught in the snare of gender confusion, Marianne began struggling at a very young age.
“All along I thought God was wrong or He made a mistake in creating me as a female,” she says of her childhood. “I hated myself because I thought girls can’t be like boys. They can’t live freely like boys. Off and on in my life of 20 years I was confused about myself. Whether I was a male or a female.”
She began dressing as a boy to cope with this frustration, but her friends and family members were not pleased and began distancing themselves from her. But she only grew angrier and more frustrated as a result.
“I started to get angry with God. I started questioning Him ‘Why did you created me? Why are you putting my life like this? Why was I born?’ I started blaming God for everything I did.“
Her deliverance from this sin and anger was still further down the road at this point. As time went on, she spiraled deeper and deeper into self-destructive behavior, depression, and violence.
“I started drinking alcohol, I started taking drugs, I became violent, I was involved in gangsterism and I tried committing suicide many times,” she writes. “I was so hateful of myself. I started believing God didn’t exist at all.”
As is so common among transsexuals, she thought that the solution lay in becoming more authentically male, rather than simply dressing like one. This was when she began taking hormones, something she believed would truly turn her into a man. She began taking testosterone, which is illegal in Malaysia, so she bought it on the streets. It took her a year to see the results, but when they came, she was pleased with them.
For a while, it seemed like the steroids made things better, and she was satisfied with the results. However, God still had something very different in store for her, as she would soon find out.
“I was enjoying life as a male,” she recounts. “Going out with friends, clubbing, got drunk and was on drugs most of the time. The drug that got me addicted was methamphetamine or “ice”. Off and on I’ll go back to my hometown in Taiping to visit my family thinking it was okay that they would accept me as a male.”
This didn’t happen, though, as most people were quite appalled by her changing appearance. However, two of her
aunts remained steadfast in their determination to share the Saving Grace of the Gospel with her.
“Both of my aunties talked to me about God and His Son Jesus Christ and how He died for me to save my soul and sins. Many times I tried running away from them and God, thinking God understood my situation. But they never gave up bringing me back. I followed them to church and frequently attended services. They were showing God’s love to me.”
The relentless love and witness of these two aunts made their impression on Marianne’s heart, but God spoke to her Himself one night in a dream, and this ultimately led to a truly miraculous deliverance.
“One night as I was asleep, I had this weird dream and it was all words from the Bible. There was this particular scripture that came to me Revelation 2:5 “‘Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen and REPENT and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou REPENT.'”
The next time she attended church with her aunts, the Pastor preached on the very same passage. She couldn’t believe it.
“I was shocked and turned to my aunties and told them ‘I dream of this scripture pastor is saying. How come?’ I was in total shock. Because the night before my church pastor confirmed this scripture, I was really guilty about it and told my aunty.All she said was confess all your sins to God because it says in 1 John 1:9 ‘If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.'”
This led Marianne down a path of repentance and deliverance. Again she experienced a dream, this time, it was a vivid vision of herself, throwing up green mucous while her aunts prayed over her. When she awoke, she told her aunts right away and they prayed over her instantly. She realizes now that the dream was illustrating her own sin being cast out of her body.
She praises the Lord for the deliverance she experienced:
“I was filled with the Holy Spirit praying continuously until 7 in the morning, got ready to church and that’s when my church pastor revealed the scripture to me. I tell you God is great. He does wonders in my life. I encountered with Him many times through scriptures, dreams and miracles (heard His voice and felt His presence).”
Shortly after that, she stopped trying to be male. She stopped taking her drugs, shaved her facial hair, and began dressing as a girl again.
Her family was overjoyed, and they along with old school friends who had known her as a girl came back into her life.
However, the LGBTQ community she had gotten close to during her time living as a man was not so thrilled at her acceptance of her biological gender. They challenged her decision and questioned her motives. Her response to this negativity, however, was beautiful.
“Messages were coming in with questions to why I change? Was it because I had to please my family? Was I okay? Was I threatened? Was it temporary or permanent? My answer to them was just ‘I fear God, I repented and I did it to please Him. Not people. And my changes was my own will. Nobody forced me. Repent for He loves you.’
She is so grateful for the family members who continually preached to her and prayed for her.
“If it wasn’t for them I won’t know who my Saviour is and I am what God made me to be now. Without them, I won’t know how to search for God or had the thirst and hunger for Him.”
For anyone struggling with the same confusion, she has a simple message, one of Salvation and hope:
“My advice to those who think God made a wrong decision in your life and created you in the wrong body or image, God didn’t do that. He made you perfectly well. Turn back to Him before it is too late. Seek Him for He is waiting for you.”